Stress from everything

People had told me over the years to move on

To get past my divorce

And so I began to work

I worked on myself

My heart

My goals

I have come to accept and acknowledge the downfall of what was

And I really am fine with that

What I am not content with

What I simply do not understand is

Where I'm at

What happened

Where did I go wrong

Not necessarily withy ex but myself

Where did I get lost

What happened to that old me

These questions need answers

They need updating

For my heart and soul has been bleedy

I do not recognize where I am

Nothing makes sense

I am lost without a plan

Having gotten caught up with everyone else

How I need that quiet

I need to reshape myself

Get ride of the fat and back to basics

I need to find that spark and not the dark

Try the light and fight to ignite

Time is running out

I am falling apart

Not all is lost

I can still see the light in this fog

The need

Have you ever felt the need to create to stay relevant? I haven't. Having to deal with the obstacles of mental Illness and everyday life….I post when I can. Another week, another plan. Stay safe everyone. Love you all

I've never felt

I've never felt so lost before. Need to make a decision here

When things get too dark

When things get too dark I close up

I want to hide and be calmed by the quiet

I want nothing but silence to show me the way

I've lost enough

Ive lost a lot

That pain keeps me from trusting

It has burdened me with blindness

I've accepted these things

This loss

This heart

I'm down

It's dark

Because is not an answer

I feel so stuck in life at the moment. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. Ever since my divorce I have been trying desperately to figure things out. I feel utterly lost at times and during these moments, I just wanna shut down.

I know what I need to do and how it needs to be done…it's hard when you feel so lost. Yesterday I bought clothes so I can get rid of my homeless wardrobe. It's important. I'm rambling. So tired. Very tired and so lost.

New Collection coming soon

My tenth collection is coming soon. I am I don't post as much but this social media thing is tiresome. Once my new collection is up, I can spend more time on my website. Thank you to anyone who read this….and to all my support…. especially Sam. Love ya bro

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These are hard feelings to bear

I was told that I should move on

And so I did

I've adapted

Moved on

Now I'm here

Everything is unrecognizable

Nothing familiar

For these past two days I've been searching

For these past few days I've been feeling

I'm lost

Not lost more than ever

Just lost without a direction

My kids don't live with me full-time

Thats a hard one to take

But it's what life did

It is….what it is

I need these quiet times

Alone

Away

From everyone

I need to figure these things out

On my own

When it does get too quiet

I feel the weight of my Ghost

This life isn't how

….I thought it would go.

At the center of it all

At the center of my core is a light

Some days it's dim and it can seem like nothing at all

But at the center of it all

Is me

In all my glory

This is the space where I feel safe

I feel creative

Trust what you feel and disregard the rest

Be easy on yourself drew

Remember the love And don't forget what brought you here

The love to create

Now go

Celebrate

New Beginning take ????

Hello to everyone out there. I have returned back to www.artbyandrewdiaz.com. Artwork has and will always be my therapy. I would like to say thank you to all who donated to my website being reactivated. I love you all and I am here to stay. Lots of building this dream to do. See you soon.

Something is brewing

Hello to the 3 people who might read this. I have started on a new project. This will be my first physical piece I have done (in a long time). Since my last collection I decided I wanted to do something more socially conscious. I will be attempting to spread awareness to the bipolar community more. For so long I have used my art a healing tool for myself so now I feel I can move forward to hopefully help others. Much love to everyone who struggles and know that you are not alone.

It's going to be a while

Not that anyone really reads these but I will be taking a break for a little bit to focus on my personal life. I also will be researching how to better market my work. I tend to like to do things myself but it is not getting me where I want to be. Please take care and watch out for random things popping up. Please be safe and much love

Why?

Why can't I just be happy?

Why do I always fall?

Why does this cloud appear to cover my light?

Why do I constantly have to get up and continue to fight?

This is hard to feel

No reason

No will

Next to my bed

Pills pills pills

I’ve come far this is true

I have a bright future

My kids

My loves

Always love them

Always I will

Now I have to go and fight some more

Or else I'll cry

I'll fall to the floor

I just want answers

To know i’ll be ok

So please understand

I don't know why I feel this way

Like the wind that blows this way then that way

I am strong

Remember that drew

Remember

Just you

Be

You

I am sorry

To my children,

Last night I was talking to you both on the phone. It was my son's birthday and I was very happy to at least speak to you both. Then toward the end of the phone call, baby girl you asked about living together. I was not prepared for that sweetheart. However…you are both getting older and these questions will be raised from time to time. I know I always tell you that daddy is working on it…and I am.

It is so difficult to be away from you both. In reality I see strangers more than I see both of you. It hurts. I want to be with you both every day, to see you grow, to laugh and play

This sadly is not the life we live. It did not work out between your mom and I and unfortunately it has taken me such a long time to figure how to be together with you both again. Please be patient a little but longer as I am making progress. Just don't give up my beautiful children and know that no matter what happens I will love you both with all my heart and soul…..forever.

I will see you soon.

Love,

Daddy

Day one

Seeing how I am still in quarantine for another week I feel at this early time in the morning…to get to work on my new collection. I miss my children very much and hopefully soon I can see them. Until then…..time to do some art for the reason I feel I have lost…because I love it. Stay safe everyone.

Covid positive

I tested positive for covid-19 yesterday. I have been very careful so if anyone is reading this…plz be very careful out there. Much love to all.

Always

It's been awhile. I want to thank everyone who has donated to keeping my website up. It means the world to me that anyone cares enough to see value in my work. As always I am trying to get stronger mentally and physically so my post while not frequent…I hope feel more genuine.

New hopes.

This is a special thanks to someone who donated yesterday. It was a surprise and I emailed a thank you…but…..THANK YOU:) I will be rolling out new artwork more frequently as it help me heal and hopefully inspires others. No one is ever alone. I am here to listen. Stay safe and never give up.

Why am i so scared of the day?

Why am I so scared of the day?

It just arrived

Hovering and lurching

Am I it's prey

I can feel something is wrong

Like before I went to bed and right when I woke

Is it my mind

Has it finally broke?

I am so scared of what feels so wrong

All this stress and hurt

I want to cry and not rest in the dirt

I must tell those who I love how grateful I am

For all that they did

All the encouragement

For if there is a surprise

And this is my end

Know that all of you

Everyone in my life

I want to say …

thank you

And

I love you

You all made it a good life

And for that

Remember me

Every laugh

Every drawing

Every year

I just hope this isn't the end

But why

Why am I so scared?

Good morning

Good morning everyone. I just wanted to say that I will be working on some old projects so I won't be having any new work for quite some time. Be safe and keep your head up

I hope

I hope my new collection in some small part has helped anyone who has struggled moving on. The road to happiness will look and feel different but the important thing to realize is….that your moving. Take care everyone.