The PAST

The Fall

What was Left Behind

The Past, The Fall and What was left behind

What does a home mean to you? What does it look like? Is it a giant and extravagant home or maybe a simple and small home where you spend your days on the porch just listening to the wind. For myself the idea of home has changed throughout the years and yet, I have struggled to move on from this one.

I lived in three different apartments before I met my ex-wife and have lived in several other places after the divorce and yet I still remember this house with such great fondness. It may have taken more time than I would have liked to feel at home there but eventually it became the place where so many memories were to be born. It was a very old and run down place with it’s creaky floors and so many do it yourself fixes here and there, but it was home…and I miss it.

I wanted to tell a visual story of my connection to this home, while hopefully letting go of what no longer is. Moving on has always been difficult for me in so many moments of my life, so I set out to challenge myself once again by creating some new artwork that was fueled by emotion and memories with the goal of putting those feelings to rest. Having been so alone for so many years and on the verge of losing the will to live, I was beyond thankful to now have the most beautiful wife and the sweetest kids and this house to live the life I always wanted in.

When everything I worked for suddenly began to fall apart it a was very hard concept to grasp. How after so many years of being in the dark and feeling so lost and alone to having it all, then to slowly watch it all fade away. This collection attempts to tell a small tale about three stages of my life here at this house.

I start off with the first piece which is titled “The Past”. The perspective is that of myself walking upon this home for the first time while also looking back in time to say goodbye. Usually I feel in life when you do have to let go that there is a parting, a leaving to where you never see each other again. Now this house while it may still be in place where it will always be on land, I must have to sever the connection to these memories in order live in the present happily.

The middle Piece entitled “The Fall” tells the story of the darkest moment of my life here. Facing divorce and the fall of everything I had worked so hard for, seeing my family begin to be torn apart was without a doubt the hardest I have ever been through. Even after all these years I cannot say I have had much success moving on from but rather it has worn me down with a nostalgic beating. I have tried to say I was sorry for everything and without much success also tried to bring our family back into a whole…This was the fall.

They say that all good things come to end. This final piece “What was left behind” addresses and even pushes that quote further. My life in this house as with my family, had come to an end but what happens after that? Have you ever wandered back to a place that had meant something to you years later? Chances are that it will most likely be exactly the same. The other difference is time itself and even the memories have been blurred and changed. I wanted to come at this piece with the perspective of visiting the house years later as it is, with only the memories having stayed the same.

This is the Past

The Fall

and

What was left behind.